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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Primary_Tumbleweed89 on 2023-10-03 15:43:09.

Hi all, quick update but a fair bit has happened in the last 24 hours (and it isn’t good). First of all, thank you to everyone for your advice, I took it on board. Especially the stuff about setting our boundaries now and not taking anymore manipulation. There was some people questioning the need for a reveal scan, we just thought it would be nice for our first child. I understand that’s not for everyone’s liking but that’s what we want to do.

Anyway, my sister called me on Sunday, I explained that my girlfriend should be allowed to have whomever she wants there. She reiterated the awkwardness of it at the scan, so I suggested a coffee meet up which she said she’d chat to my mum about. My mum turned it down and said it was “too formal”. In her words, “I’m sure I’ll meet them someday”. She suggested we have two separate scans for each of the family, I turned this down because I thought it was gross. My girlfriend is not a test subject for other people’s enjoyment. Then I said we’ll book our own and invite who we want or have it just us. She then turned passive aggressive and said “fine, you do what you want, I’ve been nothing but supportive and my girlfriend is gonna want her family there for everything”. I said this isn’t true, she said she wants both families involved.

Knowing that they’d continue to try and make offers for the scan, I sent them a long message to both of them in a group chat. I’ve added the screenshots on the insane siblings subreddit which you can see on my profile. And as you can see in the reply from my sister, she attempted to gaslight me into feeling bad. After she said we part ways, I blocked her on everything. I’m not having that kind of influence in my life and certainly not subjecting my girlfriend to it. Especially if they’re not going to respect our boundaries.

My mum called me a short time after and told me my message was condescending, cold and formal and didn’t understand why I was “overreacting about the scan”. Told me to not interrupt. Even a message I sent to her which was among the same lines as the one in the screenshot. I told her it’s not just about the scan, it’s about her overinvolvement in general. Clearly my sister left details out because she didn’t know about my sister wanting to look after the baby every weekend and being insecure about the support from my girlfriend’s family. She said we should all meet up to chat. I’m not having them bully me though, if I’m there to chat, I’m having someone in my corner. She said she didn’t want us arguing but I said the ball is in my sister’s court. My mum is attempting to play peacekeeper and has sided with my sister’s erratic behaviour so neither of them I really trust.

As for the scan, my girlfriend and I have booked our own scan and we’re having a reveal party next weekend where everyone is welcome. Although right now, I’m not inviting my mum and sister.

I’ve explained the situation to my dad and he’s disgusted at them. My sister and I have different dads.