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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AdditionalEye1993 on 2023-10-03 17:46:11.

One thing I noticed about myself was how the men who came and went out of my life would usually bring out my insecurities.

It started with my own dad (who is dead now). He would always whine and moan about how certain teachers/school staff members didn’t like me (that’s the thing about Nigerians…they’re so shallow and they care about things that shouldn’t matter) and he was abusive AF.

Then I used to be bullied by guys for my looks when I was a teenager. Even though I love the way I look now, I’m not just going to automatically forget how awful guys were to me all because I didn’t meet their beauty standards when I was a teenager.

Now when it comes to dating, I noticed that guys my age are usually never interested in me (and it’s only the creeps). This always gets to me because I can barely become a girlfriend (and men will move the goalposts…it was from them thinking I was too ugly and too weird for them to date when I was a teenager to only a few of them thinking I’m too independent or too smart).

I made my decision to decenter men because I am beginning to think that I will never get be a girlfriend since men don’t even want relationships these days. I also noticed that a lot of men are responsible to my mental health declining as well.