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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Creative_Plum8470 on 2023-10-04 01:48:06.

My sister, let call her Anne (31) is 3 months pregnant. Anne is my only sibling and this is her first baby. My dad pass away 4 year ago and it only been mom, Anne and me for a long time. Mom and I have been really excited to welcome a new member of the family. Since Anne is my only sibling, I thought (assumed) I would be the baby’s godmother. My sister made it seem I would until her husband told her I would need to be married in order to be the godmother. I’m very much single and have no plans to marry. I don’t think it in the cards for me. I was sad to hear this and kept how upset I was to my self. If the catholic church says I can’t be a godmother then who am I to argue. I took Anne to the Prego Expo, along with our mom. We started talking about the baby shower and doing a little planning during and following the expo. Today I go a text message from Anne, telling me the date and location of the baby shower. I asked her why she was doing it in that location since we talked about another location. She said her husband’s brother and his wife liked that place and they wanted a DJ at the baby shower and for it to be a party. I was taken a bit back since I thought mom and I would be doing the planning. Especially since mom will be paying for the location and she has a limited income. Anne then proceeded to send me screen shots of table center pieces and shower decorations that she wanted me to make for the shower. I was upset and it took me a minute to understand why I was crying. My plan was to ignore her for a few hours while I settled my feels. But she kept messaging, demanding a response and I finally texted her back. I told her I was upset about not being a godmother and that I felt her husband’s family was taking over the planning and how my feelings where hurt. Anne texted back that its her husband, that she never confirmed the location and that I’m making no sense. I texted Anne back, telling her that helping plan means involvement, and that I felt like I was not involved instead I was being told when things are happening and rudely being told I needed to do the decorations. I also texted Anne that I clearly misunderstood my level of involvement and that I felt I was justify upset but that I will get over it. She has not responded. My mom is now mad at me for upsetting Anne and she worried it will affect the baby. So now I feel like crap. I know it’s Anne’s decision on how much I am or am not involved in. My feeling where hurt and I should have kept them to myself since Anne is pregnant and it can affect her baby… Am I the asshole…