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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Zandy- on 2023-10-04 03:01:47.

My (24M) best friend (24F) is getting married in a month to a major homophobe and she invited me to the wedding, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable attending. (I’m gay)

So for a little background, me and my best friend met when we were in 4th grade and have been inseparable since. We have had so many classes together, done so many things together and have been there for each other through everything. Her grandmother passing, my parents separating, I mean she’s my rock. Everytime we were going through a rough patch in our own lives, we would always be an open ear to the other and knew how to make the other feel better.

My bsf, who we will call Katie now (fake name obv) has always been the kinda person to ask for advice, and then end up doing what she wants anyway. Whenever she met this guy, her now fiancé, she would ask me what I thought. I guess the “best friend test.” I wouldn’t say I’m a judgemental person, but I pick up on vibes. and this guy gave me major homophobe vibes. I picked it up from the first time I met him. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because Katie normally had a good judge of character, and he made her happy. I’m not very feminine, so he never liked me because he always thought I was after his woman. He never believed it when either of us said I said I didn’t swing that way.

As time went on I guess he wasn’t as worried about me, and got more comfortable, and he said some out of pocket things. Subtle gay jokes here and there at first, then blatant remakes about how 2 men shouldn’t be together, how the Bible says “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve,” how 2 guys can’t properly raise kids. And honestly every rebuttal to gay marriage under the sun. Katie didn’t seem to acknowledge any of these remarks, despite me bringing them to her attention.

So here’s the situation. Katie is getting married next month and I’m supposed to be the man of honor. But I fell like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I attended, seeing as she’s marrying someone who doesn’t support my existence, and I’m not sure what his thoughts on me even being there even are. I honestly don’t want to be there, and I hope this wedding falls through. I haven’t expressed these emotions to her yet, as I don’t want to ruin it for her. im afraid if I do it would push her away. But I’m also afraid if I don’t and go through with it, I would lose my best friend anyway.

So, Reddit, AITA? Should I cut my losses? Im at a loss right now…