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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/WearyBoysenberry262 on 2023-10-04 07:19:22.

Okay, first of all, sorry for any mistakes, english is a second language and I’m still processing what just happened.

So, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a bit more than a year. She’s the perfect girl for me, she’s hot, caring and smart, and we both love each other very much.

I’ve been thinking about proposing for a while, my girlfriend is almost done with school and I have a good job with a lot of savings.

Since we’re visiting her hometown for the week, thought this week would be a good moment to ask her father for his blessing.

I’ve only met with her family a couple of times, since they live in another city, but they never seemed to have a problem with me. Her father is pretty easy going, so while we don’t have much in common, I wasn’t really scared of his reaction, only a bit nervous.

This afternoon, while my gf was out with old friends, I sat down with him and asked him if I’d have his blessing to marry his daughter. He looked really awkward and confused, and asked me a couple of times if I was being serious. I explained that I was, that I loved his daughter very much and would make sure she never needs anything. He said something along the lines of ‘‘woa, I don’t know what to say, I was not expecting that’’. We were silent for a bit and he left the room.

I was disapointed to say the least, but still had hopes to covince him.

My girlfriend came back soon after, and recieved a phone call from her mother, who told her I asked gf’s dad for his blessing.

My girlfriend was really angry at me for asking her dad instead of her and that doing so is sexist(which is stupid because the point was to ask her dad to propose, not to marry her by force), saying she was absolutely not ready for marriage, wasn’t even considering it because she thought it was way too early in our relationship (after more than a year?). She said she felt humiliated in front of her parents and now she left to sleep at her mother’s tonight, leaving me alone with her father whose been avoiding me since our conversation.

I don’t understand what happened. I’m really hurt by her reaction and the way she viewed the possibility of marrying me as completely absurd. I’m really angry and confused at her parents for telling her about my plans instead of letting me propose how I intended.