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The original was posted on /r/asoneafterinfidelity by /u/SuccotashCrazy9040 on 2023-10-04 12:56:36.
In every way to every part of your body, mind and soul.
Sometimes I miss ignorant bliss. Sleeping peacefully, waking to a new day that isn’t tinged with shades of distrust and that pain of knowing.
Working on R is draining, and there can be moments of happiness but up to this point the overall feeling is of being weary. Your heart hurts, your self esteem is non existent. Except when the clouds part and you feel that sunny window of confidence. Little rays of hope. But there’s a system always stirring to the East, threatening to turn your life back into survival mode if another huge storm hits your relationship.
I’m tired. I’m thinking about taking a me vacation away from everyone. I don’t know if it would recharge me. The idea of it seems nice. But no matter where I wake up or who is with me or not, it’s still that same slap in the face reality every day since dday. Every day questioning, working to cope, trying to forgive; and keeping everything else going. Work. Therapy. Exercise. Kids. Pets. And typing that is exhausting. I have made progress though. Maybe I should refocus on what I have achieved instead. I could care less about the AP and am no longer even thinking about her. I’m physically healthy despite my mental health challenges. I’m caught up on laundry! Srsly I’ll take wins where I can find them. Anyway I woke up tired and these were my thoughts. Hopefully today is a sunny day.