This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/difficultlife on 2023-10-04 17:40:58.

When my parents were going through a divorce, my dad barely any effort to keep with visitations, follow through on parental duties, and avoid paying child support. Regarding visitations, he never made effort to pick me up or endure I was at his place on time. He believed that I should “want to be there” and that I should see him whenever I want, regardless of what the visitation agreement was.

Anyways, years later I talked to him about the divorce, and he firmly believed that because I had a minimal “desire” to ever see him, he thought that my mom was alienating me away from him. This is the same man who when I did visit him unprompted, would be caught off-guard when I did stop by, did not have anything planned for me to do, and would send me back home.

If he genuinely wanted to have a relationship with me as his daughter, he would have made the effort to ensure he had enough visitations, planned for me to be there, and given me my own space if I were to do overnights. Instead, he complained to the courts that my mother was prohibiting me from seeing him, when he was the one not making any effort to see his daughter.

Is it common for men to whine about not being able to be fathers to everyone around them, while simultaneously making no effort to be a father? Luckily the courts were able to see past his crocodile tears, but I worry that there can be a few judges who might fall for it, especially how men believe that they are far less likely to get custody agreements and are unfairly discriminated against. When in reality, the reason why there are far less men who don’t have full or equal custody is because they genuinely suck at being a dad.