This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wise-Buddy-6567 on 2023-10-04 19:13:14.

I’m (26m) married to my wife (26f) and we’re expecting our first baby. I’m estranged from my paternal side of the family after my father’s affair on my dying mom and their willingness to try and defend his actions. While mom was sick he left me to do more caring for her while he was screwing someone else. He even brought said other woman to my mom’s funeral. His family also tried to get my mom to “forgive before it’s too late” while she was still alive. It was a nightmare. I was 15 and it was a lot. Mom needed to be cared for and I was the only one who could when my aunt had to work. After mom died I moved in with my aunt.

My father married the other woman and invited me to the wedding but I didn’t go or even acknowledge the invite. I had nothing to do with any of them. I heard he died last year and it was no concern to me. Also found out he had two kids. His other woman/second wife died four months ago. My paternal grandparents took the kids in but they do not feel like they can raise two kids under five or six or whatever age they are.

They mentioned me to a social worker who approached me and asked if my wife and I would be willing to raise these kids. We said no. The social worker made a note of it and said they would not approach me again.

My grandparents have not given up and contacted me and my wife both over this. They tried to use guilt trips and sob stories about foster care being horrific for kids and one is a little girl so it’s even worse. None of this changed anything for me and then they tried getting my aunt to talk to me. They showed up at her house with the kids and appealed to her as a former foster kid (she and my mom both were). She told them to get the fuck out.

I ended up talking to them over the phone instead of ignoring their messages to me. We talked. They told me after they went to my aunt’s house they had spoken to the social worker again and now the kids are in care. They asked me how I could be okay with “my siblings” being in care. I said I don’t care that their grandkids are in foster care. They are nothing to me and the fact is I am not going to pretend I care about saving them. I said they need to accept the kids are now in care and a social worker will work on finding them a good family but they need to accept I will not be that. They called me a monster and said I should be ashamed of myself and they hope the birth of my child brings me nothing but guilt.

AITA?