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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BreadfruitOne9147 on 2023-10-04 16:57:16.

I’m 20f and my sister “Abby” is 18f. I’m living away from home at the moment at university, and my sister recently got accepted onto her dream course at the same university as me. Currently she lives on campus in a house designed for first years, while I’m in a small flatshare.

Abby seems to be loving the independent life and I’m happy to see her going to bars with friends and enjoying life as an adult so much. But recently a guy “John” came into her life, and she initially promised me not to tell our parents she had a bf already. Not knowing much and assuming he was a normal teenager I promised. However a couple of nights ago she came over and told me all about him.

John isn’t a member of the uni - she and her friends met him in a nearby bar one night and they kept in touch. John is 28, which she hadnt mentioned when she had first told me about meeting him, which makes me incredibly uneasy. Apparently he’s a heavy drinker and he smokes, all of which Abby is certainly not experienced in.

I wanted to meet him, because I was really worried about the age gap and what he could want with such an inexperienced person, not that I couldn’t guess. She said John didn’t want to meet me or indeed our mum and dad, because he’s “nervous”. I saw a photo of him and he looks so much older than 28, which makes me wonder if that’s actually a possibility. But I have no proof of that.

Basically I really started regretting my promise, but then this was before all the information came out about him.

Ive started noticing she doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore because she “prefers to be with John” and “we had our whole childhoods to hang out and now it was time to meet new people”. Those sounded super manipulative and fed to her by him, and it set off all sorts of red flags in my brain.

That was the final, final straw for me. As soon as she’d left I rang my mum and told her about John. She was horrified and actually came up to our university the next day, where a huge fight took place. John was in her dorm with her and apparently took off in a hurry.

Our parents are talking to the uni and my dad (who only wishes he couldve been there when John was) is thinking of involving law enforcement.

Meanwhile, Abby blames me for betraying her trust, and she says I ruined everything. I don’t ķnow how to feel about all this.