This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway_6226 on 2023-10-04 22:49:08.

For context, my brother, L (31) is disabled, he and was born with a condition that made him born without a chin/jaw. He is genuinely my (40F) best friend. Our mother died last month, it hit L the hardest because she was his carer. She had cancer, so we had time to discuss any wishes that my mother had, one of them was that when she died I let my brother live with me, I agreed. I got an extension added on to the side of our house for my brother, so he would have his own space and I could always look out for him. Our family has always been close with L, he would stay with us when my mother was away. My son (11) adores him and they’re always doing fun things together like sports and gaming, I also thought my daughter B(20) got along with L, they often have mario kart tournaments together and L has even convinced me and my husband to give her a bit more independence. Two nights ago B came home late from a party with her friend. I always stay up when B is out to make sure she got home okay. I heard her come into the house with her friend and I heard B say “we need to be quiet so we don’t wake my r slur uncle up”. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Me and my husband have never raised our kids to say such things. That comment just took me back to when me and L were younger and me defending him against all the horrible people that would stare and make fun of him. I got up out of bed and I asked my daughter to repeat what she said. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t think I’d hear that. I asked how she could say something so cruel about her own uncle. That this is not how she was raised and at 20 she should know how awful that is, and if she thought saying that to her friend made her look cool she was wrong, that she made herself look like an insecure bully. She didn’t apologise, she just said that nobody was meant to hear that and it’s not a big deal. I asked B’s friend if her parents are okay with her having friends stay over. She said yes so I told B to leave and stay at her friend’s house. B said I’m meant to take her side, that I’m her mother, I told her I have been L’s sister longer than I’ve been a mother. B didn’t think I was serious, I’ve always been a calm parent and I have never told her to leave the house before. I had every intention of having B back home, but she needed to learn a lesson that I meant that behaviour would not be tolerated. I apologised to B’s friend for being in the middle and I gave her cash to cover the cab to her house. I called B yesterday, hoping she understood how out of line she was, she didn’t. She was unhappy that I took L’s side over hers. I told her to come home so we could discuss this properly but she refused. I have been in touch with her friend and B is still staying with her, so at least she’s safe.

My husband said I was too harsh, but there’s still that protective big sister rage in me.

AITA?