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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Flat-Photograph3659 on 2023-10-05 00:39:13.

I have been married to my husband for 3 years and together for 7. Our only child is 2.5 years old and the last two years have been a struggle. This past weekend my husband admitted that he thought we had decided that I would make the child-rearing decisions and that he would “help” when I needed it. I was livid. I told him he had just defined “default parent.” He did not think it was a bad thing that I make all the decisions for our child and he “helps” when I struggle. Cut to last night - I took two hours after work to get a run in with friends. This had been planned for a week and husband said he was cool with it. I came home to a house in disarray, table had not been cleaned from dinner, daughter had not had her bath, and other than ordering pizza for dinner, no other forward motion had been made to get our child into any sort of nighttime routine. I should add that my MIL was at the house as my husband had called her over to help. Husband jokingly says - “we didn’t get anything done.” I bit my tongue until this morning after a fitful night of interrupted sleep with our toddler (her sleep is off, but that’s an entirely different post) - and I told him that I would have been better off hiring a babysitter the night before because a teenager could have accomplished more. He was defensive and responded that it was just a hard night. I get that, our kid is 2, so much of it is hard. I also know that when he plays in sports leagues 1-2 times a week and watches football at a bar 1-2 nights a week - I somehow manage to cook dinner, bath our child, brush her teeth, clean as I go, and get her calmed down if not totally in bed. I know I wasn’t kind, but I don’t think what I said was untrue. Am I wrong here?