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The original was posted on /r/asoneafterinfidelity by /u/kakamouth78 on 2023-10-04 21:10:48.

I vaguely understand the therapy process. Evaluate the degree of damage, stabilize the patient, repair damage, educate patient on methods for preventing or managing future damage. I understand that everyone involved is going through a case by case process and that different degrees of injury require a different degree of priority. I also understand that these are trained professionals who have a duty of care that’s exclusive to the patient in front of them.

So how do you handle advice that directly contradicts the advice given to your partner?

WW has been told to demand a break from all talks related to her affair. BH has been told that talking regularly is important at this time. Daughter has been told to be assertive in expressing her feelings.

As the BH, I’ve turned to half assed journaling and grey rocking for the time being. Our daughter is following her therapist’s advice in a universal manner (nothing is held back from anyone). WW seems to have started blame shifting again.

Can we lock the therapists in a room together and make them fight amongst themselves or do we let the family counselor throw her opinion into the ring first?