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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Short-Baseball-477 on 2023-10-05 15:35:29.

My wife Danielle 33 has a job that requires her to go into the office every day. I 42 work from my home office. We have two children 2/4.

We had a nanny, Esme, whom we hired after we moved to this city for my wife’s job. We do not have family in this city.

Esme was with us since we got here six months ago. She was excellent at her job and she was a pleasant person in general.

Danielle got it into her head that Esme was going to try and get me away from her. She fired her. It was a ridiculous assertion. I love my wife. But she insisted. She then proceeded to kibosh any nanny that the agencies sent. Even the make one because she thought it was “weird” to have a male nanny.

She wants me to watch the kids since I’m home anyway. I said that there was no way that was happening. I bring home 65% of our income. I cannot watch the kids and work. I have dealt with this temporarily by inviting my parents to stay with us so they can watch the kids.

Danielle hates this. She likes my folks but she doesn’t like having them here 100% of the time. However neither her mom or dad are able to help.

I told her that if she wants my parents to go home she either has to replace our nanny or she has to stay home to watch the kids.

She says that I’m an asshole for devaluing her work and expecting her to watch the kids because she’s the woman. I’m not. I think she created this situation and it’s her responsibility to deal with it.