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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Husker8 on 2023-10-05 14:04:17.

About two months ago my mom asked if my MIL & her boyfriend wanted to celebrate Christmas with us(we split holidays between the sides so thanksgiving this year is with my MIL).

Important context is that about 6 years ago when we were dating my MIL happened to be in my hometown Mother’s Day weekend when we were visiting my mom. We left part way through the day to see my now MIL and my mother handled it like a spoiled toddler to me via text the whole time we were with my now MIL. My mom was dealing with the loss of my grandmother a few months before and acted ridiculous. She has apologized multiple times since then to myself/my wife and made attempts to make up for it. Not that it changes what happened.

So fast forward to this year and my mom mentions inviting my MIL to Christmas. I don’t really say if I’ll invite her as I know there’s a good chance she declines after the Mother’s Day. I tell my wife who then invites my MIL and my MIL says she needs to check her schedule. For the next two months I ask my wife each week if my MIL is coming and my wife always responds with something like “She doesn’t know yet, still a little gun shy. after Mother’s Day” or something similar.

This past week my mom lets me know my sister’s MIL reached out about coming to Christmas. My mom said she thought about it but decided actually she thinks this Christmas might be best a smaller family event and declines that my sisters MIL comes.

I pass along to my wife that my MIL may have missed her window to say if she wants to come as I feel it would be awkward for her to come and not my sisters MIL, especially since my mom still doesn’t even know she was considering.

My wife is furious with me now saying she must tell her mom she can’t come to Christmas and etc.

AITAH for saying it’d be awkward for her mom to now come to Christmas, two months after being invited & not giving an answer, and after my mom decided to make it a smaller event?