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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mic1120 on 2023-10-05 18:53:06.

TLDR; Seen a lot of posts recently from women who are unhappy with their partners who don’t pull their weight in their relationships. Worried about getting into this same situation in a LTR and wanted to know if there’s anything I should look out for in terms of dating.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts recently on Reddit and elsewhere about men in long term partnerships who don’t share the mental load. I.e. they live with their partner, sometimes with multiple children, but do no housework/chores/childcare and seem unwilling to do so - asking for explicit lists or details, for example, when they are asked to do something, instead of just taking the initiative and doing it. I specifically am using the term unwilling here and not unable since I know that most of these men are MORE than able and just play dumb or can’t be bothered stepping up even when asked.

I literally saw a post today of a man whose wife is asking for a divorce, he admits he hasn’t been doing enough but is still basically saying he doesn’t want anything to change.

I’m becoming increasingly worried of falling into one of these partnerships and having children with someone like this. I get very attached in relationships and tend to overlook flaws (although don’t we all when we’re in love?).

I guess I wanted to know what some early signs might be of a relationship or person like this - if there are any. I’m worried that I’m young enough now that relationships feel quite easy because I don’t have that many responsibilities yet. I’m aware I may not be paying attention to people not making enough effort in ways that they should be or I’m letting stuff slide when I should be pulling them up on it. Would love to hear some views!