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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/Consistent_Ruin_1949 on 2023-10-05 17:45:58.

Hi, I’m a person with Asperger’s syndrome in my late 20s and I want to see if anyone else has had this experience with NTs…

So, throughout my life I’ve always had a hard time communicating with NTs and I’ve always wondered why there are so many misunderstandings between me and them. Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot about conversations I had with them and I noticed something: NTs don’t seem to be interested in the actual topic of the conversation, but are actually using that topic to indirectly talk about the only thing that seem to matter to them: who they are in comparison to others.

For example, if you’re talking about politics, and the NT says they hold opinion X, they’re not *really* talking about X, what they’re saying is “I am the kind of person who holds opinion X, unlike those other people who hold opinion Y”. X is of no importance to them, it’s just another symbol in the social game. And if you say you hold opinion Y, and try to argue in favor of it, the NT will not think “this person believes Y makes more sense”, they will take what you’re saying as an *invitation* to socially present themselves as “the kind of person who holds opinion Y”, together with you.

Has anyone else here had the same experience?