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The original was posted on /r/asoneafterinfidelity by /u/strangled_spaghetti on 2023-10-05 20:33:30.

Before all of this shit happened, I held my spouse really high on a pedestal. He’s very accomplished, and has great control over himself with most things (I struggle with my weight, for example, and he does not).

When infidelity reared it’s head (a year before he came clean, and in the 6 months since DDay), I’ve had a tremendously hard time reconciling this person I thought so highly of with what he did.

Surely I must be mistaken. Surely there was no way he could have done this.

That cognitive dissonance was very strong (and painful!) for a long time, and we were talking two days ago and I actually explained that piece to him.

He said this to me:

“[Strangled_Spaghetti], I cheated on you, and I’m sorry. There is no question that I cheated. So you should accept that fact and move forward with it.”

At first I didn’t understand why he was spelling things out so clearly for me, but then I understood. It was actually a kindness. The facts are not in dispute, and there’s no need for me to keep torturing myself that he couldn’t have done this horrible thing.

I’m so incredibly grateful to him for giving me those words. It’s liberating in a way. I feel less stuck, and like we can actually move forward.