This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dangerous_Secret4445 on 2023-10-05 21:58:55.

I (27F) have been with my now-fiancé (26M) for nearly four years. Prior to knowing him (I’ll call him Matt for the story), I had a past fiancé - I’ll call her Amy.

Amy and I were high school sweethearts, our parents were the closest of friends (still are), both our families supported our relationship despite living in a pretty conservative area, and by the time we were 19 we got engaged. Before we could get married, though, Amy was struck and killed by a drunk driver that year. Her parents and I helped each other through what was the darkest year of our lives that year, and I still think of Amy’s parents like a second set of parents to this day. They’ve helped me so much throughout my life before AND after Amy’s death, and they were nothing but happy for me to finally get a second chance at love. I want them at my wedding, and they’d love to be there.

Matt’s never been overly thrilled about the subject of Amy. I think deep down he’s a little insecure and compares himself to her, even though I seldom talk about her and have always made it abundantly clear that it is HIM I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.

When I brought up the idea of having Amy’s parents, who are like godparents to me, at our wedding, Matt was very unhappy. He thinks it’s weird to have my ex’s parents present at my wedding to him, even though they’ve always been supportive of our relationship, and it’s not exactly like my ex is in the picture anymore. Matt also thinks it’s going to invite trouble from certain members of his side of the family who are…let’s just say…rather biased against “non-traditional” relationships. I told him that if it’s his family members he’s worried about, we shouldn’t let the bigotry of a few people hold us back from inviting the people we love most to our special day. I owe so much of who I am and what I have to Amy’s parents, who have always looked out for me, given me advice, and even helped me out financially so I could get my first house. I insisted to Matt that they be present at my wedding.

He continues to argue with me about this to this day. Matt still thinks it’s weird that I’m inviting them because I was engaged to their daughter, and that it reveals to his more conservative family members that I’m not straight. He feels like I’m not validating his needs enough.

AITA?