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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/pervertedlittlebro on 2023-10-05 23:19:34.

I caved and today, I acquired the services of an escort. Feel free to say I’m a coward for not forging a relationship with someone and not doing it the proper way.

Regardless, I arrived at her place and we got stripped, she put the condom on and she gave me oral. Which was actually rather nice. Then she climbed on top and proceeded to ride me.

All I felt was my cock being squished really. None of that euphoria I’m told you feel when you’re inside someone. I switched to missionary, I was thrusting like you’re supposed to and, nothing.

When it was time to wrap up, she was trying to make me cum but… I couldn’t. Being anxious means I couldn’t be fully erect I suppose. It wasn’t her fault at all, and she was very understanding.

I left feeling like I had gone my whole life being told sex was amazing, then when I actually have it, the act itself was just… hallow.

Due to having a social disability, I have no real hope nor fortune of attracting any women. Yes I’ve heard the whole chestnut of “put yourself out there”, like that actually helps or gives me any idea what to do.

I tried dating apps, but I get myself all up in knots if I think about all the women in the area who know me personally from school, college or university days seeing me on there. Last few times I’ve been on there, it hasn’t lasted long before I lose my nerve and delete my profile.

Anyway idk why I’m saying all that. All I need to know is, why has it been so underwhelming to me? I feel like my whole life is a lie. I’ve gotten myself worked up about it, done stupid and irrational things, ruined so many things because I wanted to have sex…