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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayaccounterat on 2023-10-05 23:52:30.
I (25M) had this girl I have been friends with since kindergarten. Our parents were best friends and we have been through high and hell together. I will call her Julie (27F). I realized I had fallen in love with her when I was only in middle school and we started dating my freshmen year of high-school. When she broke up with me I was devastated but we continued to be friends. In my senior year of high school I met my now fiancé Autumn (22F) which I fell hard for. I remember during my prom when I posted pictures on Facebook of me and Autumn at prom she called me crying and asked me for a second chance and I felt so guilty and for a moment thought about taking her back but just seeing Autumn made me realize she is where my future is. Going into my early 20s I would still see her at family gatherings and she’d invite me to hangout with her and our old friend group but it didn’t feel the same anymore. I was/ still am in love with Autumn and every time me and Julie hung out she would always try to cross boundaries with me, it got to the point where I told her that I couldn’t be around her anymore because it felt disrespectful to my girlfriend knowing she still had feelings for me.
Fast forward 4 years later and she has passed away. This caused a dark cloud over my family because my sisters, mom and I are very close with her family. When she was sick she wanted me to visit her and I did. She confessed that even though we haven’t spoken in years she’s still very much in love with me. I felt really bad for her but I didn’t know how to respond and I just sat in silence. I feel almost guilty for not being able to love her back. My fiancé Autumn had also come to the hospital with me and decided to wait in the lobby but was met with dirty looks from Julie’s sisters. Me and Autumn were basically being treated like insensitive AHs. As always I am unfazed but Autumn cried to me the other night after I told her Julie had passed away. She told me if we have to postpone the wedding we can but I refuse. I told her I spent a fortune on our wedding and she always comes first no matter what.
My mom, sisters and Julie’s family think I am being a terrible person considering I won’t be able to make it to Julie’s funeral with it being days before my wedding. I have mixed feelings now so AITA?
To add some clarity, we are leaving town a week before our actual wedding date and already booked an AirBnB