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The original was posted on /r/40klore by /u/RadagastTheBrownie on 2023-10-06 03:42:46.

Because look at this thing. It’s a third the size of his sword somehow. The moment of leverage it applies to Abby’s neck has got to be brutal. And without structural support, it’ll just flop around everywhere. So, why? Why risk such a gaudy thing interfering with his sword, gun, and jetpack?

Tradition, and a remnant of Cthonia? A convenient way to make a miniature stand out on table-top, that can be painted first and assembled later? That’s what they want you to think. But open your eyes, and you’ll see the Orks also have that really dumb hair.

But Orks are mushrooms, and mushroom caps are naturally bald. Ork hair is a squig, a little mini-Ork that bites people.

Now, why would the Warmaster of Chaos have a small, hairy creature constantly bite him in the head? Besides explaining why he always has that look on his face like something’s gnawing the back of his neck.

• The constant biting will ground Abaddon in reality. Horus failed by overdosing on Warp Juice, and Aba Don’t want any of that weakness.
• Hair squigs are still Orkz- a Xenos race that’s notoriously hard for Chaos to corrupt. Keeping one grafted to his brain will add that extra buffer against going “Full Horus.”
• It’s an emergency weapon. If he’s ever disarmed, ABBA can just grunt really hard and eject the hair squig as a flying, biting weapon.
• He may or may not have lost a bet with Tzeentch around year 34K.