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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cool-Matter4062 on 2023-10-06 06:17:47.
I57f was married to my husband for 27 years. We split up 6 years ago due to him seeing a younger woman, and also cheating on me countless of times during our marriage. We have 3 adult children together and grandchildren.
I hadn’t heard from him in the last year and a half, and a few days I got a call. He told me he only had a few weeks left, cancer, and asked if I would come see him. He said he was afraid to die alone and had always hoped he’d be next to me as he went. I said I’d think about it, but I knew in my mind I wouldn’t. I guess my ex husband told my kids he had asked and they asked me if I was going to go, which I had said no I didn’t think I was.
They were super distraught about it, and angry, and continued to tell me how he had no one except us, and that I’d be horrible if I didn’t go see him. That yes he cheated, but I shouldn’t let him die alone and scared and that I was being immature and petty about such a big thing.
It is true, he has no family except for our children, and I. I do feel badly for him. But we’ve been divorced awhile now. Witba if I decided not too?
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He wasn’t alone. He had his children who apparently tried to pressure the woman he cheated on into giving him peace he didn’t deserve. NTA
If my worst enemy requested my presence while they died, I would go.
I’m not sure if “asshole” is sufficient word for someone who allows another human being to die alone.
Self-care matters. You want to force rape victims to attend their rapists on their deathbed upon request? Don’t trivialize this woman’s trauma. Cheating is up there among the most breathtaking, intense betrayals any person can commit on another.
