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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Only_Option_996 on 2023-10-06 18:22:14.


I 18F am in my freshman year of college. There’s this girl (name) who’s autistic and I chat with her often because she’s very nice and has a hard time making friends.

There’s a study area that I go to for studying because I’ve heard that studying in your dorm room is distracting. I found a nice little spot there hidden from everyone so I’m not distracted. One day (name) found me there and wanted to chat. I had fun and talked with her.

The next day I’m sitting at the spot and she comes up. I make small talk but then tell her that I have to focus on studying so I can’t chat anymore. She said ok, but proceeded to stand right above me staring at what I was doing. I didn’t want to seem rude and ignore her so I just chatted with her until she went away. This proceeded to happen several more times throughout the week. She would walk up to me and when I tried to hint at her to go away, she would continue to talk to me.

Yesterday I went to the study spot and she was sitting there. I acted nice, I know it’s not MY spot obviously, so I found another one on the other side of the building. She. Found It. And talked to me. I took off my headphones and told her that I like her as a person but I can’t keep talking like this when I need to study. I’ll admit I had a rude tone of voice because I was very annoyed. She started to get visibly upset and overwhelmed. She said that she wants to spend time with me. I got really stressed out not sure what to do, so I got up to leave. She grabbed my bag and I grabbed her wrist to remove her hand. She started yelling and making noises. I made a scared noise and then practically jogged away. I remember this moment for moment because I feel so bad about it.

She told her mom, who contacted someone, and now I have a scheduled meeting with the communications advisor next week. She emailed me about it and said she wanted to ask me some questions about the “incident” that happened with my classmate. I have no idea what she told her, and I feel horrible. She must have felt extremely rejected and upset, and I was so rude just because I was annoyed. AITA?

Edit it’s important for me to make it clear that she wasn’t trying to steal my backpack or hurt me by grabbing me. When I turned around after she grabbed it, she was smiling. I think she was trying to have fun with me but didn’t understand that I was very bothered

  • @[email protected]
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    111 months ago

    As an autistic person, having read only the headline, NTA.

    That kind of emotional, visceral, real reaction is solid gold to an autistic person.

    We live in a world of lies, and you snapping was the truth. Autistic people need truth in order to learn social rules. Somehow NTs can just absorb it from the mesh of lies we call “culture”, but we autistics need someone, occasionally, to tell us the truth.

  • @[email protected]
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    111 months ago

    She said she wanted to spend time with me … I didn’t know what to do.

    Make plans to spend time with her. That is the most obvious, logical thing in the world given what she just said to you.