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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/AssociationFormer179 on 2023-10-06 16:48:48.

To me it seems like the overwhelming preference for women in the bedroom is to be “dominated.” From talking with partners over time they have said roughly the same things, they like the feeling of being desired, they like the raw nature of it, they like feeling “small” or “overpowered”, etc. The thing is though, this totally ruins sex for me and turns me off completely. I don’t get off at all on dominating my partner, and so what this normally means to me is that its boring and a lot of extra physical exertion without much reciprocation. In fact, I find it to be the opposite power-dynamic, its me doing all the work to please them but I don’t get anything in return since the act of “dominating” isn’t a turn on for me at all.

I just ran into this again the other day. I went on a few date with a woman and we ended up getting a room after the third date. She, like every other woman I have been with, told me she wants to be fucked roughly and dominated. I am so over doing it at this point that I played a long for 10 minutes until I completely lost interest and then found an excuse to stop and get dressed. I have no problem with these women wanting to have sex in a way they enjoy, but what it means for me is that its extremely difficult to find a partner I am sexually compatible with. At this point, I don’t even want to have sex anymore because all I associate it with is boring emptiness and anxiety. How can I either learn to give women like this what they want while finding some enjoyment, or find a sexual dynamic I actually enjoy?