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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/netcrack on 2023-10-06 17:10:43.

Hey everyone,

My (M36) sister (F33) turned 30 three years ago. I decided to give her a voucher for a private alpaca hike as a present. We all like animals but I also thought it would be a good opportunity for some family time, maybe including our parents and her kids.

Over time, I’ve asked her every few months if she had some plans already, not to push her to do it but simply for planning reasons, so I wouldn’t be on vacation then or something. She was always dismissive of the idea, not directly saying she didn’t wanna do it but always like “I don’t wanna think about it right now, we’ll have to see …” giving off the vibe that she was a bit annoyed by the inquiry and not keen on doing it at all, so I left it at that.

The time passed and nothing ever came of it. I recently noticed that the voucher would expire at the end of this year and I didn’t want it to go to waste, as it a) would have been sad but also b) the hike was fully prepaid, non-refundable and not that cheap (200€) because it is exclusive to the group with a dedicated guide.

A few days ago, I thus texted my sister via WhatsApp, saying:

“Hey, how are you and the kids? How is it going? Just a quick question: do you already have some plans for the alpaca hike? I noticed that the voucher expires by the end of the year and it would be a shame if it would expire unused, also as it was somewhat pricey. Do you wanna do it? If not I would also take the voucher and go in your place. Have a nice day!”

I didn’t receive any answer whatsoever. Today I saw her at an unrelated family gathering. Towards the end I asked her “did you read my message?” she was like “yea …” and I responded “and you didn’t wanna reply or …?”. She said “No it wouldn’t have been nice …”. Then I took her aside and asked what the problem was.

She then started to quietly yell at me that it was totally disrespectful to watch so closely what happened to the gift and that she would never “ask for a present back”, especially in that “demanding tone of mine”, being extremely pissy about it. I went ahead and explained that it was really not my intent to upset her, that I thought she maybe had forgotten about it in the stress with the kids and all, and that it wasn’t an allegation or criticism. Also I reiterated that I by no means am asking for anything back, I’m just offering to jump in to prevent the voucher from expiring unused if she didn’t wanna go.

She wouldn’t have any of it, insisted that it was “totally weird and inappropriate” and that it wasn’t my business what happened with her presents. She then explained that I “don’t need to worry about it” as she would do it but without me and that she wouldn’t talk about it anymore. I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t have done it at all if I hadn’t said something and the main reason she’s now doing it is spite.

So AITA?