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The original was posted on /r/relationship_advice by /u/larrieez on 2023-10-06 18:20:28.

Fun fact: ios keeps your deleted messages.

I feel like I was meant to find out because the messages had only one day left before being deleted.

It’s so hard trying to write a coherent post while still freshly mad so bare with me.

I was looking through my dads phone while in the car with the whole family and found all these messages of him texting his coworker (who is also married and has kids) “I love you I miss you I’ve loved you many years” I felt physically sick to my stomach that I started to hyperventilate when we got to the restaurant.

Mini story: He got a second phone to talk to her and who the hell knows what else. But the most infuriating part is that he sends her money and buys her gifts. She knows he has a family and I saw that he sends her pictures of our family when we’re on vacation. I think this has been going on for 3 years.

My mom said she suspected something for a while but she wanted to have faith in her husband. He also kept insisting that she checks his phone but because he deletes his messages and uses a different phone she never found anything.

I told my mom to divorce him but she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to break the family apart. Are we suppose to pretend like everything’s okay.

At first he kept playing victim and when I found out he kept lying about little details which kept making me more angry because I saw the texts.

I can’t even look at him or I will start to get angry and yell. I said I want to talk to this lady and her husband to let her husband know. Why does my family fall apart and she’s here chilling with my moms fucking money!!! And my dad wouldn’t let us talk to her? Why is he defending her.

I donf know how to feel better about this situation if my parents stay together. I feel like I’m more mad about the money because my mom worked hard to earn it just for him to give it to some old lady. My dad also does the paperwork and pays the bills because English isn’t my moms first language. If they divorce I would have to take over. I also decided to quit my job and move back home (I live in a different country so I have to quit in order to be with her) because I don’t want my mom to be alone. She doesn’t deserve this.