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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/babydoll_j on 2023-10-06 13:25:09.

Typing on mobile so I apologize.

I (21f) have been dating my bf (23m) for over a year. His ex gf (28f) had their daughter in 2021. She’s now almost 3 and such a lovely kid.

BM and I have not really gotten along that well, we’re civil at pickups and drop offs but we aren’t friends at all. We both have very different views on a lot of things. She’s very much on the crunchy/hippie mom type of thing. No big deal, everyone lives their lives in different ways and I don’t have a problem with it.

His daughter started spending the weekends at our place and it’s been a great time. Her mother gave me a list of all of her favorite foods which was perfectly fine because I wasn’t sure what she liked at all. Now here’s the issue, she buys all natural and some vegan style foods for their daughter. Once again no biggie she wants her daughter to eat healthy and all of that jazz BUT she has food stamps… She is able to spend a good chunk of money on all of these foods for her daughter so she eats healthy. My bf and I don’t have food stamps since we don’t qualify for it (we actually tried to get them).

We had BM over for dinner so she could see the place and her eyes nearly burst out of her skull at some of the stuff I had. I got a good amount of off brand healthy stuff for their daughter. She started tell me that I needed the on brand stuff since it’s all she buys and etc etc. After she left I talked to my bf about all of it and he said that he just wants to make BM happy and that we should just follow all of her rules and such. I rarely give my opinion on things regarding their daughter but I just can’t hold back on this because it’s starting to bother me and we really can’t afford to get these things.

So, WIBTA for telling my boyfriend how to raise his daughter at our house?

Edit for any confusion, when I said BM i meant baby mom, not bio mom. sorry for the confusion

Edit 2: I would also like to add that our budget is between $200-$250 depending on what we need. He does give me money for her groceries and snacks specifically. Our last shopping trip we went over our budget to about $325 because I decided I would just buy the name brand stuff. We work out of finances on every check and split everything evenly for whatever we need like groceries, bills, rent, miscellaneous stuff we might need during the month.

Final Edit: Wow okay so I got a lot of mixed answers lol. I know the title seemed misleading I just didn’t know how to phrase it at first. With all the comments I read and replied to really makes me feel like I wouldn’t be the AH which I appreciate a lot. I’m planning on talking to my boyfriend about everything and setting up boundaries and such with his ex gf. Thank you guys so much and I’ll try to reply to more comments.