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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/UpstairsEgg6346 on 2023-10-06 22:33:58.

My(m43) mother had one sibling, my uncle who was survived by his 2 daughters; Ann(26) and Lisa (24).

My uncle wasn’t the best with money. Growing up Ann and Lisa didn’t have much. So every time I would fly over to the states and visit I would try my best to spoil them, however I could. Especially as my business grew bigger and better, I tried my best to support my two cousins. They’re my last piece of extended family, and they’re like little sisters to me.

Their father passed away from covid. Didn’t leave them much.

Last year Ann got married to her ‘soulmate’, overall great guy; has a good career, respectful, faithful, trustworthy, and humble. I couldn’t be happier for her. I pitched in together with the groom’s parents to pay for the wedding. Nothing too expensive or outrageous but we all agreed it’s a good gift for newlyweds to start their life.

Now this week. Lisa says she wants to marry her current boyfriend/fiancé, MJ. Obviously she asked me if I would be willing to pay. And normally I would. But not if she is marrying this dude. I can’t in good conscience spend so much money on a relationship I do not believe in with a guy I absolutely dislike and completely disapprove of.

I only met MJ a couple of times but from my interactions with him this is what I got: he has a hood mentality, he completely disrespects my eastern European heritage, he cheated on her once, he works a part time job as a cashier and has no goals or aspirations for the future.

I told her, she is welcome to get married to him, and I will come to her wedding and giver her a gift, but she can forget about me footing the bill if she really wishes to marry MJ.

Well she got extremely angry, called me an asshole and whatnot. But what bugs me is that my wife’s I’m an ahole for ‘playing’ favorites and “controlling” who Lisa marries.