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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Reasonable-Degree472 on 2023-10-07 00:15:20.

And suddenly I realized the degree of how some of these people from my past, again especially men (one particular one always comes to mind) were looking down on me. I started doing this sort of as a mental practice for all conflict situation I find myself in. Whenever I feel I’m being disrespected by a man, instead of focusing on how it’s received and trying to mentally make sense of it from my own point of view (which is usually where we mess up a lot by giving them the benefit of the doubt cause our brains are just naturally inclined to operate that way for whatever reason), I really try to imagine in as much detail as possible on what kind of state of mind I would have to be in to do that thing to another person. Suddenly it’s clear as day how I’m being perceived by them and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. And I guess that’s a good thing cause it’s self preservation kicking in.

Anyway, the point is, it’s not until I started thinking in this way that I realized how most of men in our every day lives look at women through a lense of total contempt. It’s so common that many of them speak to us so patronizingly and condescendingly in society that it’s almost as if we’re desensitized to it. But I recommend you start doing that, start imagining how you have to view a person in your mind when you talk down to them, to make snarky remarks, to talk to them like their stupid. It makes sense that men react violently when their advances are rejected. Because how dare something that he perceives to be beneath him have the audacity to deny him? How dare you not allow him to use you and abuse you? The only one thing you’re good for in his eyes? Don’t you know your place? Realize how lowly men view you when they tell you to go make him a sandwich. Like your not even human. And we accept these things as jokes cause they just relentlessly exhaust and make fun of us further if we don’t.

When you think of it in this way you also realize that when people are mistreating you they know exactly what they’re doing. No matter how hard they try to gaslight and deny it when confronted, just to get out of being accused, they always know exactly what they’re doing. You never speak to someone out of a place of frustration and contempt “on accident” without realizing it if you really think about it. You ALWAYS know exactly what you’re doing when you talk to people in a negative way even if it’s super subtle. But men will always deny it and get defensive, and play stupid when confronted. Like of course, this is who abusive people are. Anyway this is sort of a random rant I wanted to share, hopefully maybe it helps someone in a situation where you’re being gaslit and manipulated. Always put yourself in their shoes when in doubt and you’ll see a lot more clearly.