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The original was posted on /r/asoneafterinfidelity by /u/[deleted] on 2023-10-06 21:13:22.

My husband had a crush on this woman that we were friends with and on group trip this spring he got drunk and openly flirted, pursued, and got handsy with her. It was a very weird situation because the group tended to behave a bit that way, touchy-feely and sexually charged comments, none of which I would welcome or participate in. He clearly crossed lines but everyone but me seemed to blow it off as dumb drunk behavior. She did seem uncomfortable, probably because it was clear I was furious, but also seemed to enjoy his attention even though she was married and her husband was among the group. I obviously knew it was more than drunken flirting and he later admitted to the crush.

Anyway that was the tipping point to me discovering a bunch of behavior on his part that I believe was very much leading up to an eventual physical affair with someone. Online dating apps, egregious porn use, social media accounts set up to make him look single, messaging women online etc. We absolutely had issues with communication and intimacy that led us both to feel very neglected and disconnected. The trip mentioned above was like a lightening bolt hitting our relationship. We both decided we hated where we were headed and have been working on it ever since.

Last week his crush’s husband passed away. I feel horrible for her and I know she is devastated. I can’t help it though as terrible as it sounds one of my first thoughts was ugh, now she is technically single and my husband may really go after her. It’s irrational at this point but I can’t shake it. Not sure what I want out of this post, I think I’m just venting.