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The original was posted on /r/detrans by /u/titanic_777 on 2023-10-06 17:14:46.

(not sure if my other post got removed due to no user flair so I’m posting again)

I’d had dysphoria since I was around 13. At 14 I found out what trans men where and immediately went “that’s it!”. I grew up in a very repressed conservative Christian home and I just counted down the date until I could start testosterone. Well, I finally did this past August.

Though, earlier on in the year I began to realize that the disgust I felt towards my body, towards being female, had somewhat went away? I had a brief period of time where I wanted to desist before starting testosterone, but I just chalked it up to me having less dysphoria bc I was already on the path of transition (if that makes sense?)

But now, I’m at risk of my family disowning me, and the more I think about it, the more I realize my own values and beliefs really conflict with all of this. On top of that, I still don’t really LIKE being female, but I think a lot of that was me not wanting to conform into what people think a woman should be. It’s been over a month on T and throughout the past week I’ve seen pretty girls and now I want to break down. Maybe I want to be pretty. Maybe I have BPD. My next shot is due today and I don’t think I’m going to do it