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The original was posted on /r/relationship_advice by /u/shiintonic on 2023-10-07 09:42:59.

For the last year and a half, I’ve been with the most wonderful and understanding man I’ve ever met. I’m always so proud to call him mine and feel so safe and comfortable around him. Unfortunately, we had vastly differing childhoods with him growing up in a strict and sober household in the Mormon religion meanwhile my family is very agnostic and loves raunchy subjects and controlled substances. We bonded over smoking weed together and drinking so for a while I thought he was going to go ex-mormon or was simply keeping up appearances for his family. Not the case.

Within the first six months, we knew that we are compatible and have futures that align with each other. When marriage first started being discussed, he mentioned that his family is adamant on their children getting married in the temple. The only problem is non-Mormons are not allowed in. This means that not only would I have to convert, but none of my family would be there to witness one of the most important days of my life. I was worried that if I disagreed I could jeopardize my future with this amazing guy, so I told him it’s something I was willing to look into.

Since then, I’ve been to church with him a handful of times and have spoken to some missionaries. I’ve also done a lot of research on my own and I just can’t see myself devoting any part of myself to it. I disagree with so many of the church’s stances and have huge critiques about their past. I finally brought it up to my boyfriend today after weeks of hiding these feelings and he seemed so disappointed in me. He mentioned that being in the church could help my life in so many ways and that this could complicate a lot of things. I felt like he didn’t want to respect what I was telling him and wanted to convince me to keep pretending. When I asked if he still wanted to be with me, he just nodded while not even making eye contact. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

Is there a world where this works out? I feel like I am making him choose between me or his family and upbringing, but at the same time I felt like I had to prioritize myself even if it costs me this near-perfect relationship. I can’t help but feel like I doomed us because I can’t get myself to find any faith in his religion.