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The original was posted on /r/relationship_advice by /u/ThrowRA74828356 on 2023-10-07 03:36:50.

My spouse (33M) and I (31F) got married recently. We both work hard and he’s honestly way smarter than me, but I lucked into a job 1.5 years ago that pays a life changing amount of money (>700k). He instead is choosing to take on very meaningful work, which unfortunately doesn’t pay enough these days to support a family.

I save 80% of our money, and outsource most of the housework (cleaner, dog walker, takeout, etc.) so both of us can work 60+ hour weeks. We’re going through a rough spot since my mental health has been in a bad spot.

Sometimes I struggle with my spouse not really valuing my income. He gets frustrated when I work long hours, am stressed/fed up. But my income means we can take a step back or not work when we have kids while still giving them a good life.

Recently he has started making comments along the lines of “we don’t need the money, prioritize your happiness and us”. More recently, he suggested me taking a step back so we could move to another state with a role he really wanted (at a major hit to our household income).

This makes me feel like he doesn’t understand how hard it is to just financially survive with kids anymore, and what a life changing opportunity we have to build a real nest egg (my savings tripled this year!!). I’ve shown him the spreadsheets of our expenses, but his eyes glaze over…and he thinks I just overspend. He feels like I prioritize my job over him, and he doesn’t have the option to do the same because of what he wants to do.

I love my spouse and both of us feel under appreciated. How can we fix this?