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The original was posted on /r/twohottakes by /u/whatever–whenever on 2023-10-07 20:39:57.

My husband (23M) and I (23F) moved a few months ago back to the city where I grew up. Specifically, we moved pretty close to my grandparents. My grandparents had been alone for many years since all their children and grandchildren had ended up moving away for different reasons quite far from where they live, so knowing that we were going to move near them was a great joy for them, especially for my grandmother. My grandparents were so excited about it that they asked us to please see each other at least once a week so they could have regular contact with us. My husband and I work from Monday to Friday so we decided to dedicate part of our Saturdays to spending time with my grandparents. We talked to them and came to the conclusion that we would spend Saturday mornings with them at their house and have lunch together. My grandmother was fascinated by the idea since she LOVES to cook, she has always told us how much cooking de-stresses and relaxes her and how she almost couldn’t do it because it was just the two of them and she hardly needed to cook. We still asked them to please let us know if they needed us to bring the food and/or dessert on any Saturday to prevent my grandmother from cooking too much. My grandmother told us that she didn’t need us to do that at all and she asked us not to even mention the fact that we brought food on a Saturday. Despite all this, my grandfather didn’t seem to have any problem with this, so we started going to see them every Saturday.

The first few months everything seemed to be going great, we really enjoyed each other’s company and we took the opportunity to help my grandparents with many of their technological problems, such as how to use their smart TV or mobile phones properly. However, as time went by my grandfather began to make some comments behind my grandmother’s back such as that “it was too much for her to have to cook for 4 people every week” or that “they didn’t have that much money to spend in that much food every week”. I have to clarify that my grandparents have a fairly high standard of living and that money is the LEAST of their worries. My husband and I somewhat ignored his comments since my grandmother seemed very happy and she always let us know how having us there every Saturday helped her improve a lot with her depression. However, 2 months ago my grandfather asked us one Saturday afternoon after lunch to go with him to the city center. When we were about to go back to our house, he told us that we couldn’t continue like this and that my grandmother was really being affected by our weekly Saturday visit. He basically made us understand that it was OUR FAULT that my grandmother was more tired, sad and depressed. As if my husband and I were being a “burden” to them. My husband and I told him that we could change our weekly visit to monthly and that we could bring food for everyone. My grandfather asked us to be the ones to tell my grandmother and made us promise to never tell her that he had talked to us about this topic.

That same day at night my grandfather called us and told us to please not stop going every week because my grandmother was going to go into an even greater depression if we stopped going My husband and I didn’t know what to do and began to feel quite uncomfortable on our weekly visit to their house. Three weeks ago my grandfather came to our house to talk “some things” with us. He told us that he had tried in every way to please everyone but that it was definitely too much of an expense for them to have us there every Saturday and that we had to stop going every week. My husband and I agreed in a coordinated manner. After all, we were finally going to be able to have Saturdays free for ourselves, so we didn’t give the matter any more importance.

On Friday of that same week my grandparents called me on speaker to ask us what we wanted to eat the next day at their house. I couldn’t believe it! I told them in a polite way that we wouldn’t be able to go to lunch with them for several weeks but that we would stop by on Sundays to see them quickly in the morning. When I hung up the phone I received a message from my grandfather letting me know “how disappointed he was in me for making my grandmother feel so bad about our weekly meal at their house”. I sent him a voice note telling him that we were going to be busy on Saturdays for real and that I was just doing what he asked of us. My grandfather deleted the messages from our conversation on WhatsApp. Since then (3 weeks ago) we have not gone to eat at their house again.

My parents and my husband say I’m right but a part of me feels bad that my grandmother believes that we are the ones who don’t want to go and be with them when in reality it is my grandfather who has forced us to take this step.

AITA?