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The original was posted on /r/twohottakes by /u/RunRunGrey on 2023-10-07 21:31:29.

Buckle up this is going to be a long one.

My brother in law is dating a woman that seems to be a life time grifter/con woman. My husband and I are both uncomfortable around her and wish they would break up. It is pretty obvious that we aren’t fans of hers. When she is around we mainly just ignore her. We haven’t told his brother that we don’t like her or implied that our relationship with him would change because of the relationship. We have just been hoping the problem would go away naturally.

So why do we think she is a con woman? Our state has a very public criminal/court record search system. You can see everything from parking tickets to full divorce documents. She has a pretty intense criminal record which includes forgery charges, fraud, theft of property, car theft and assault. These are the core documented past incidents. I also have personal judgements about her life choices which could make me an asshole. She has children from multiple fathers and it is always the man’s fault for their relationship ending. That could be true for some of them, however her last husband filed for divorce with the reasoning being fraud and not no fault. The divorce was granted under the fraud designation and based on what you can see in the filing it was for not disclosing her criminal past and getting him fired from his job for misuse of his company’s credit card. Neither he or her were charged with the misuse because he paid off the debt to his employer. When she talks about him she makes it seem as though he is the criminal and not her.

As a result of her criminal history she is unable to rent an apartment and is living with an elderly woman who she takes care of. She is going to inherit her property when she dies as long as she provides guardianship for her adult son who is severely disabled and living in a group home. I have no real proof that this situation is being done with malicious intent but given her past the idea is in my mind. The home has an estimated value of $750,000 and the girlfriend and her youngest children live there with the elderly woman.

Through the same public information where I was able to see her criminal past and divorce I can see were guardianship was filed. The legal proceedings for the guardianship was paid for by the elder woman who hired a separate lawyer to represent BIL girlfriend. About six weeks later the girlfriend hired a separate lawyer to file the option to rights over to the state in the event that the elderly woman dies, which is different than what their agreement is. Again, she hired a new lawyer to file this change.

Last week the elderly woman’s 5 year old golden retriever dog ate a sponge (the harder ones for scrubbing a pot) and required surgery to remove it. The girlfriend was supposed to work with the vets office and have the dog treated. She instead had the dog put down! She told the elderly woman that the dog didn’t make it. I know about all of this because she was talking to people about it at barbecue my in-laws hosted.

My brother in law is aware that she has had quote “a rougher past” but I know he hasn’t looked into her criminal record and is relying on her account of her past. Even if I sent everything I have found out about her to him he wouldn’t leave her. He is someone with low self esteem and is desperate to not be alone. He has melted down and gotten angry with people when confronted with uncomfortable truths. The girlfriend is also extremely manipulative. She had her children call him step dad after three weeks of dating. She has tried to get my children and others to call her auntie the first time we met her. My husband shut that down immensely.

People generally seem to like her because she is extremely charismatic, but to me it rubs me the wrong way. To me it seems very disingenuous, almost like she is trying to create fast relationships with people to endear them to her. Other family members seem to be giving her a chance. We have told my husband’s parents about everything we found. My mother in law is not happy about their relationship but won’t say anything. My father in law is very religious and believes he can’t judge her based on her past but only if she does something against his family. Since she hasn’t yet he is okay with her hanging around.

Maybe I am too judgmental, but I think she will eventually hurt the elderly woman that will result in her death. Give the disabled son over to the state and inherit the house. If anything goes wrong I think she will blame my BIL the way she blamed her ex husband for the credit card misuse. I don’t have any proof that this is what she is intending to do. Maybe I watch too much crime tv. I can’t take my assumptions anywhere and I don’t want to do anything the alienates my BIL.

She hasn’t technically committed a crime yet. She hasn’t inherited the house. She hasn’t signed her guardianship rights over to the state because she can’t because the elderly woman is still alive. I could alert the attorney of the option she filed. I am not sure if the dog is a crime. I don’t know the elderly woman but have her name from the guardianship filing.

I guess I am wondering what others would do.