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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GodorTod on 2023-06-23 02:05:14+00:00.

So, my boyfriend (M22) and I (F20) have been together for a little over a year now, and tomorrow is my 21st birthday.

So today, at like 10 pm, my boyfriend starts calling and texting. I tell him I can’t pick up or talk to him right now because I’m busy.

When I finish eating I get into the shower and receive a text from my boyfriend, asking me if I can come down. Attached to it was a photo of my front gate.

Honestly, I’m sure a lot of people would think this is normal and be happy with the surprise, but I just couldn’t help but feel weirdly invaded and disrespected. Like, I still live with my parents, he knows I wouldn’t be able to invite him in, so I was just supposed to be out in the cold after a hot shower with him?

I told him I couldn’t come down and I was shocked he showed up without saying anything. He said he didn’t tell me on purpose because it was a surprise. I told him I was taking a shower and it was already almost 11 pm, I didn’t think it was appropriate to show up at people’s homes at that time.

He left the surprise gift at my front gate (it was a letter) and left.

He is super upset and not answering my texts.

I’m wondering if AITA for refusing to come down…

(Edit: grammar)