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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/unhappyjihadist on 2023-07-06 10:06:27+00:00.

I (23M) am a Masters student from the US conducting capstone fieldwork in Africa (an English-speaking one EDIT: English-speaking country). Grace (23F) is another student from my program in the same country, different city, about an hour’s drive away. Thomas (20M) is an undergrad who is also here, living in the same guesthouse as me and working for the same host org. We all share an academic advisor at our university, hence us all going to the same country to conduct work.

I don’t see Grace often, and we aren’t close friends so we don’t communicate much. I ride to and from work every day with Thomas, but that is about the extent of our interactions, because he and I have next to nothing in common. I am into mountain climbing, white water rafting, and sports. I like going for runs in the morning and trying new foods, and I am fairly sociable so I have made friends at the host org. Thomas, on the other hand, is not athletically inclined whatsoever, and has seriously struggled whenever I tried to include him in my free time activities. He complained to our advisor that he didn’t feel safe when accompanying me on said activities, but never raised those opinions to me. He doesn’t like trying new food, and is conversationally challenged when it comes to talking with the people here.

Following the incident with him complaining to the advisor about my “disregard for his safety”, I stopped trying to include him in my free time activities. He then also complained to my advisor that I was excluding him and preventing him from bonding with the host org. I play church league soccer (football for my non-Americans) with one of our coworkers, so we’ve become close through that. I don’t think he’s found any inroads to make friends such as this.

Recently, my advisor and Grace (separately) expressed their dissatisfaction with my lack of effort to include Thomas. I know Thomas communicates with them more than I do, so that’s how they’re aware. They said as peers from the same university I should be making sure he gets along better and including him in my activities. I respectfully disagreed, and said it wasn’t my responsibility to make sure some kid is having fun, especially after he complained when I did include him.

Grace said I was being an AH, advisor said i need to be more inclusive and a better role model. AITA for refusing to care?