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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/Still_Explorer_7325 on 2023-11-04 02:38:24.

T has improved my mental health so much but the only thing is lately I just feel so depressed because I lost my childhood and teen years to gender dysphoria. Nothing ever felt real. I can’t remember much of beig young but I do remember being confused af and not knowing what was wrong about me, then forcing myself to deny who I was because of how other people treated me like trash for being trans and desperately and having to hide everything and then when I hit puberty even though my chest is tiny af I was so fucking depressed and suicidal until thechanges of T. God I just want to be a kid but cis. I am turning 18 soon and it hurts bc I never got to be a kid. People say “you have lots of time ahead of you” yes well I also have the trauma and agony of gender dysphoria and everything it has taken and I will for the rest of my life.

I don’t feel my age. I don’t feel like I fit in. I am confused because I never lived until I started t I just had to fake everything. I would do anything to just restart life as a cis kid. It really hurts to not have a childhood or teen years.