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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2023-11-05 05:00:09.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Living_Pound_5524. She posted in r/AITAH

Mood Spoiler: wholesome and cute af

Original Post: October 23, 2023

My husband is a stay at home dad to our 4 year old daughter, he is an extremely devoted and loving dad who has barely spent any time away from her and she is a major daddy’s girl. In two weeks, he’s going to his best friend from college for a whole week. He’s going to be reuniting with his college friends that he hasn’t seen or spent time with all together since our own wedding. He originally wanted the three of us to go, but I convinced him to just go himself because I think being alone would make him enjoy it more so he didn’t have to do childcare, I think our daughter is too young for that big of a trip for people she’s only met once, and also I’m planning on taking a week off work and would love to spend one on one time with her that we so rarely get.

This morning, I learned that I am pregnant. We have been trying for some time now and really want lots of kids, so I am over the moon and I know my husband (and daughter) will be too. I have not told my husband yet. My first pregnancy he was a huge prepper and when I first learned I was pregnant he went into overdrive with preparing, researching, and taking care of me. He was incredibly helpful and loving and it was so sweet but he also really worked himself up and got stressed. I don’t think it’ll be as bad with this one but I could still see it being a lot. I honestly don’t really want to tell him until after his trip, in 3 weeks even though it’s a huge secret for me to keep. I think he’ll potentially be “upset” (which with him is very very tame) when he finds out I’d known for 3 weeks but would get over it fast. My concern with telling him is I could honestly see it ruining his trip. I can just imagine the constant texts asking me questions for the millionth times or sharing his most recent thoughts. I really, really want him to have a chill and fun trip and be able to decompress. And for myself, I want to be able to just focus on having a great time with my girl. But, I also don’t want to just hide something so hugely important to our family from him since he obviously deserves to know.

I can’t really decide, WIBTA if I decided to wait to tell him until after his trip?

Relevant Comments:

NTA, but definitely don’t tell anyone else before him:

“Oh yeah def not telling anyone else, that’s why I’m asking Reddit for advice on this and not friends or family lol. Although may tell my daughter right before he gets home cause I’m loving all of the surprise suggestions I’m seeing especially with her wearing a big sister shirt 💕”

*This exchange:*Commenter: I love the big sister shirt! If she’s not reading yet, you can have her help you make it then tell her when she’s putting it on to show him that it has a secret message for daddy to read out loud to her. They can both get a surprise at the same time!

She can blurt out when she sees him that her shirt has a secret message for him and she won’t know ahead of time what it is.

OOP: I absolutely love this!!! This is absolutely what I’m going to do, thank you so much!!

Update Post: October 29, 2023 (6 days later)

So I hadn’t planned to give an update so soon but even though I’d planned on waiting until after my husband’s trip, after a few days it became clear to me I could not wait that long lol. He definitely knew something was up with me, I’ve been getting crazy excited and been chomping at the bit to tell him, and honestly it just didn’t feel good to keep something that big from him for so long. We have been trying for this baby for close to a year now and it’s such happy news and I decided it’s just not worth it.

But, I still wanted to give him the surprise I had planned. I asked him to go out to the store to grab something really quick, and before he got home I had my daughter put a shirt I’d gotten her that had ‘only child’ crossed out with ‘big sister’ written underneath. When he came through the front door she sprinted to him yelling about how her shirt had a secret message for him. He was very taken aback lol and it took him a second but once it clicked he was beyond excited, as was our very confused daughter once we told her. She started dancing around the house singing about having a baby sister (which she is adamant it will be) and it was just a really good day.

He is still going on his trip and has not been even close to as stressed as he was last time. If anything he’s looking forward to it even more now because he knows it’s going to be a last chance to really decompress before things become a whole lot crazier.

Thank you so much everyone for all of the lovely comments and responses that I got, I really appreciated them all. I showed my husband the post and admitted my original plans and he got a big kick out of it lol, but he’s very glad that I told him before the trip. Thanks again 💕