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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Stressed_Mother on 2023-07-08 13:29:48+00:00.

I (39F) have a daughter Miley (23F), who is getting married sometime around late August.

It’s a small backyard wedding, 50ish guests. She’s getting married to her girlfriend, ’ Angie’ (24F). Personally, I don’t like Angie much (long story). My daughter recently had twins, born in mid-June, James and Linda.

I had a falling out with Miley when she was pregnant in May, but recently my mother reached out and asked me if I would like to stay with them for a few weeks to help plan the wedding. A couple things are 1) I didn’t know Miley was dating anyone, I thought she was single. 2) Miley was raised by my grandparents. 3) I didn’t know she was dating/ marrying Angie.

So I came down as a surprise, and no one knew. I surprised them at a restaurant, and Miley didn’t seem all too happy, but she let me stay. Over the past 2 weeks, we were picking out decor, cake flavors, etc. Turns out they were wanting to get married since last October, but thanks to many problems, we’re just now planning so we’re on a crunch, so it’s been hectic.

Everything came to a head yesterday, when we were wedding dress shopping. Miley was trying on many dresses, and I tried to suggest a couple of styles, but she brushed it off, saying she wanted something a bit princess like but not ballgown, and maybe older looking, but she was taking everyone else’s options.

She tried on a style her sister in law liked, some lacey mermaid dress. I told her no, and that if she wanted a tight dress, she would have to lose some of the baby fat ( she still has the extra pounds from pregnancy). She told me that it wasn’t the for sure dress, just an option she wanted to look into, but ‘thanks for reminding her she wouldn’t look good in a tighter dress’ but my opinion wasn’t really needed.

It was awkward after and I felt unwelcome, though I was still trying to give advice on her dresses. After the 14th dress, I asked her to pick one, or we could go to another store. She just looked at me, left, got dressed and told us ‘let’s go’. She didn’t get a dress, and I told her to get one and she said no. I told her she was throwing a fit, and it was stupid she was taking a small comment to heart, that she was wasting time, etc. She ignored me for the rest of the day.

Today we’re going to a friend of her about the flowers, bit I still feel unwelcomed. An hour ago, a got a long paragraph from Angie, saying my daughter was an angel for giving me a chance after everything, that she was a gorgeous woman, she can make her own choices on what she wants to do/wear for her wedding, that i wad a ‘raging, narcissistic sociopathic bitch’, and she herself has half a mind to bar me from the wedding.

My mother and a few of my friends/aunts have said I didn’t do anything wrong, just gave criticism. I don’t think I said anything that bad that justified that message or the cold shoulder I got.

AITA?