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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2023-11-06 06:01:44.

I am not The OOP, OOP is aitadnd

WIBTA for asking my friends to pay me for DMing?

Originally posted to AmItheAsshole tumblr

Thanks to u/PitaEnigma for suggesting this BoRU and Where-I- Went for help with the acronyms

ACRONYM GUIDE:

Actual Play Series

D20 = Dimension 20 CR = Critical Role NADDPOD = Not Another DnD Podcast

MM = Monsters Manual DM = Dungen Master PHB = Player’s Handbook

Original Post  Oct 30, 2023

Maybe a weird situation but hear me out. I (22F) really really love DND. I listen to shows like NAADNDP and CR and D20. I’ve played in a lot of online oneshots and tried finding a local group to play with but haven’t been very successful because between classes and work I’m always too busy.

A couple days ago in a discord movie night with my friends (all early 20s) we watched the DND movie, and my friends were super into it and kept asking me stuff like “Is this from the game? Can you really do that in the game? Was that a good dice roll?”, just being really into it. Later one of them asked if I would maybe DM for them. I was SUPER excited as I’ve always wanted my friends to play DND with me but never pushed cause they didn’t seem too interested. I said yes without a moment’s hesitation and started planning. But in the middle of planning I realized how much I really needed to buy. I’ve never actually done DND in person. At the very least I need a dice set, plenty of paper, something to use for maps, something to use as a screen- even if I forgo minis and the books and the modules and all that expensive stuff. Not to mention I would need to take time off work, because right now I’m going to classes 5 days a week and working 6 days a week and that 7th day is for staying at home in bed recovering only.

So I was wondering: would it be considered a dick move if I were to ask my friends to give me a bit of cash in return for DMing? Obviously not enough to replace the lost income from work, but maybe like $20 each (from 5 people)? Or maybe ask them to help buy some of the materials I need? I’m afraid to ask and scare them off the idea of playing, because I wanna play soooo bad, but also I am very much broke and might be putting myself in a bind if I try to do this all by myself.

am-i-the-asshole-official answered:

AITA?

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

NTA33.4%

UPDATE

Hey all! I submitted this a while back and realized I worded some things poorly, so I thought I could clear a few things up.

I am not at all new to online DND, it’s just in person DND I’ve never done before! Like I said before, I’ve played in a lot of online oneshots (I think about 12 or 13 now). I spend a lot of time on DND forums and subreddits and respond to ads looking for players, so I’m quite familiar with things like Roll20 and 5etools and tabletop simulator. It’s just that I can be quite shy, and while I had a lot of fun in these games, I didn’t make lifelong friends, ya know?

We had a discord night the day I was asked to DM and I brought up the possibility of doing it online, but my friends seemed keen to do it in person and I really want that too. We don’t see each other often since we’re all busy, so we want to use this as an excuse to all get together and hang out! We’ve already decided to shoot for the 28th as the day to hang out together all day and play (time off work has already been acquired from all parties except 1, who may have to drop out).

That night they also did ask me what materials they should bring and I (literally buzzing from excitement at the idea of getting to play with them) said maybe a bit too quickly “Oh don’t worry, I’ll take care of all of it!” Sooo, yeah. That part. Might be my bad 😅I HAVE kind of backtracked on that a bit since then. I mentioned something like “well actually it would help a lot to have something to take notes, and maybe bring your own dice?” and they weren’t upset at all, just amused.

I also talked to them about maybe running a module, but they know I’m a huge DND nerd and that I have been making my own homebrew setting, just for myself, for years. I sometimes gush about it in our discord server and before they were just like “that sounds great sweetie,” but now they say they want to play in that world! Which is. And I cannot stress this enough. STILL making me die of happiness to this day. I have the best friends in the world. <3333 And yes, it means more prep work for me, but DND is what I use to unwind and relax! Building this world has been the thing I look forward to most in my day, and now building it for THEM? Even better.

And on to “why $100”? Honestly it’s a ballpark number, and one I’m not at all married to. I’d happily pay for all the prep myself! It’s just if I’m solely footing the bill prep time might take longer for what I want to do. And I DO plan on using online PDFs or 5etools for stuff like the DM’s guide, or monster manual. But I want to at least have a physical copy of the Player’s Handbook for them to share, and maybe a couple sets of spare dice because if I know my friends at least one of them will forget their dice. And the PHB alone can be like 50$ if I can’t find one used (which I’m currently doing. I’ve been to a used book store and game store so far, and I’m willing to keep looking.)

As for stuff like maps? I know I don’t need them, and I’ve played plenty of theater of the mind games before. But I know at least a couple of my friends are more visual learners, and I’m an okay artist, while a couple of my friends are art majors and FANTASTIC artists. My plan is to get some construction paper and draw some maps I can reuse, like generic forest, generic tavern, generic city street- and get those laminated so we can draw on them with markers. And maybe if we end up playing more than once I can recruit my more artistically inclined friends’ help in drawing more maps.

I’ve also DIYed a DM’s screen out of old cardboard and duct tape, and one of those artistically inclined friends offered to bring her paints over and paint all our characters on it (They’ve been private messaging me on discord with character ideas and I love them for it).

I think that’s about it! TL;DR: I have experience with online DND, but me and my friends want to play in person. We’ve already started planning for it. the 100$ was just a ballpark number and I haven’t asked for money from any of them yet, and idk if I’m going to. If I DID ask for money it would go to things like a single PHB to share, spare dice, construction paper, laminating said construction paper, markers, etc. I know I don’t need all the fancy schmancy books and minis and add ons, and wouldn’t give WOTC that much money anyway. My friends and I are very very excited to play!!! :)

UPDATE 2

Hey again! Thought I’d give one more update in case anyone was curious. We’re now post session and TL;DR it went great. Different than I imagined, but way better.

I did end up asking my friends to keep a look out for a PHB (I know you can get them online, but I really wanted to support local game stores before I turned to that). One friend found a copy in a used bookstore along with a Monster Manual and DM guide, and the 4 of them that were gonna play all chipped in to get all 3. (I did not ask them to. I specifically told them I would handle the DM stuff, but they wanted to get me the DM guide and wanted to pick monsters from the MM to maybe fight one day). I also ended up making one big map on a huge piece of construction paper (about 24x36) and got it laminated. The map was of a city square with festival stalls.

Saturday we all gathered at one of our houses and I started walking them through character creation. What dice to roll, what ability scores were, what class and background to pick, the whole thing. 3 of the 4 really got into it, but 1 (we’ll call her Freya) was kind of overwhelmed by it and asked if she could sit out on this session and just watch, and she’d either get into it and join next time or she wouldn’t, and that would be fine too.

At the end of character creation we had: Hodgepodge B’Gosh, bugbear druid (with a pet hedgehog named Sunny). Nyrin Tress, half elf rogue. And Torpor, black Dragonborn Warlock. I told them we’d just play around with these characters first and if they like playing we’ll develop backstories later.

None of their characters started out knowing each other and I didn’t want them to get bored while I played with each one of them one on one, so I would play with each person individually while the other 2 hung out with Freya watching movies or playing video games. I started them all in a big city during a festival, but their characters were broke. So they had to find odd jobs around the festival to make enough money to afford a room at an inn (the money was physically represented by pieces of candy, bc Halloween). Hodgepodge was hired muscle for a merchant for a while, but then took offense at some dog races and released all the dogs and had to steal some clothes off a clothing line to disguise himself from the guards. Nyrin just pick pocketed people. Torpor got roped into a children’s play as the dragon a knight had to defeat.

At one point Freya had the players not with me playi…

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