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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/normal-_-cat on 2023-11-06 18:19:56.

This happened about a decade ago.

I was unemployed and job hunting in NYC and I had this idea that the best way to go into interviews was to have no food in my body so that I could have total clarity on my thoughts - no fogginess from food. So, every night before I had an interview, I would take a laxative and then in the morning, I would let everything out and go on to achieve perfect clarity in my interview.

One morning after taking a laxative, I wake up late and have no time to go to the bathroom. I don’t really have to go anyway so I think it’s fine and I go on to the executive assistant interview. Right as I enter the interview, I can feel that the laxative has taken hold and I am desperately trying to hold everything in while answering questions about my qualified. Finally, I am lead to another room filled with computers for a skills test. I am alone at least and I relieve some of the stress on my stomach by passing some burning hot gas (a risky move no matter what). The smell that comes out of me is horrific. It smells like garbage, diapers, death, old cheese, all mixed in together and it’s HEAVY. You can feel it in the air and it settles on your skin, like a thick blanket of fog. I can barely breathe and I am holding my breath, waiting for it to dissipate.

Minutes after this demon smell is released, the woman who was interviewing me comes in with a man so that he can do his own skills test. Their faces twisted in disgust and the woman waved her hand around in front of her face, trying to create space to breathe. I did the same, and said “I think there’s something wrong with this room.” And she gave me such a dirty look, clearly knowing it was me, and now knowing that I’m a liar.

For some reason, I finished my skills test and when I went to check out, no one spoke to me to thank me for coming or anything. I was too ashamed to ask for a bathroom key even though I was certain I was going to shit my pants any minute so I sprinted outside to the nearest McDonald’s where I proceeded to further destroy their already disgusting bathroom.

I didn’t get any call backs from executive assistant agency.

TL;DR I took a laxative before an interview and ended up releasing the most disgusting fart in what I thought was private. Turns out private was not so private and I ruined my chances for a job.