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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Happy_Cherry_6859 on 2023-06-24 01:36:48+00:00.
This all happened over last weekend, but tensions are still high and the situation remains very hostile.
In essence, my SIL (30F) very kindly invited me (25F) and my fiance (26M) on a surprise weekend getaway with her family. We recently got engaged (last month! yay!) and she said she wanted to treat us to a surprise trip with her family. The surprise trip ended up being a weekend getaway at a popular beach town near where we live. We were both very excited to join them and spend time with their super cute toddler who’s only 3!
The issue starts at the hotel check-in. Both me and my fiance are aware that his sister tends to be very frugal, but we’ve never commented on it since they are not well off financially. However, the hotel that she surprised us with ended up being a 1-star motel in a notoriously dangerous area. Upon entering our room, my fiance and I were shocked to find how dirty and disgusting the conditions were (e.g., fresh stains on sheets, clump of hair in shower drain, dead cockroach in corner). My fiance went out around 10pm to get us ice and he ended up being solicited by two prostitutes. I also went down around 10:30pm to ask for more towels from the lobby and I was catcalled and leered at by two very sketchy men. In fact, one even tried following me until he saw I was walking to the lobby.
Finally, around 11:00pm I told my fiance that I did not feel happy nor safe staying in the motel. I asked him if he wanted to relocate to another hotel. He agreed and apologized for the conditions, but initially said we should just tough it out for two nights. But after I told him I was catcalled and followed, he agreed with me and said we should leave. And so we got an Uber and left to a nearby Hilton. I sent a text in our GC around midnight letting them know that we felt a bit unsafe and uncomfortable at the hotel due to some encounters/harassment and decided to stay at another hotel. I thanked them and apologized profusely. I asked my fiance if we should offer to move them to the new hotel on us, but he said no because he believed his sister would feel insulted. My fiance separately venmo’d her $200 to cover the costs of the motel even though it was only (~$40/night).
The next morning, I wake up at 8am to a text from her SIL basically saying that they were “deeply hurt and offended” by my actions and to call them ASAP. We ended up meeting them back at the motel and she and her husband completely blew up at us. She called us “ungrateful” and “classist”, even going so far to directly call me “high-maintenance.” She told us that she spent $100 on our accommodations, which was all that she could afford, and we “threw it in her face.” I went into the conversation very apologetic, but once she started insulting us, I told her off as well. We ended up parting ways and have not spoken to each other since, except for a text from SIL saying she wants a genuine apology from us. I don’t believe I owe her any more apologies. AITA?