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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pristine_Balance_365 on 2023-06-24 03:27:36+00:00.

My guy friend, “Tom,” has been one of my best friends since college. We’re in our mid 20’s now and are both currently in committed relationships with long term partners. I have never had feelings for Tom nor has he ever had feelings for me.

Since college, Tom has been a huge watch fanatic. Two months ago, he was showing me this stunning vintage watch and made an off-handed comment about how he would die of joy if he somehow got his hands on one.

Very coincidentally, I was in NYC a few weeks ago and stumbled upon this watch store that just so happened to have the exact one Tom wanted. It was expensive, I wont lie, at about $2,500, but I decided to get it for his 25th birthday (to me, it was basically fate lol). My boyfriend and I do very well financially so this was something that I could personally afford and wanted to buy for Tom, especially knowing how happy it’d make him.

Tom has a tradition of hosting a dinner party at his place for his birthday and then following that up with cake and gift opening. I told him before the dinner that my gift was a huge surprise and asked if he could save it for last and he agreed. His girlfriend ends up going first and she gets him this gorgeous sweater that she crocheted for him and a book that he’s been wanting, which I thought was super thoughtful and lovely. Last, it was my gift. When he opened it and saw what it was he literally screamed, hopped over a bunch of people, and squeezed me in this huge bear hug. I was SO happy to see him happy, it genuinely filled me with so much joy. He even got emotional and I saw him swipe a few tears. He also said that it was the “best gift he’d ever received.” The whole time, his girlfriend was only slightly smiling and stayed quiet.

The next morning, I get a text from his girlfriend that essentially said that although she appreciated my thoughtful gift, she thought that it was a bit out of touch and lacking awareness. She admitted that Tom had also told her about the watch and she wanted to get it for him, but it was way out of her budget. She accused me of knowing this (I had NO idea) and still getting it to rub it in her face and to “outshine” her. She finished by saying how she felt like I had overstepped a boundary by getting the gift and would appreciate me not doing anything similar to it again in the future. I responded and told her that while I could see her POV, I was just trying to do a nice thing for a close friend of mine. I asked her, wouldn’t you rather he gotten the gift and seen the happiness that it brought him than him not getting it at all? She responded that that happiness was “only shared between [me] and Tom” and no one else and that she felt hurt by my actions.

Only my boyfriend knows about this and he’s on my side. But thinking through it all again, I do see how I could’ve overstepped, but my boyfriend says that it’s not my job to apologize for her insecurities. So AITA here?