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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DCONightingale on 2023-06-24 04:05:06+00:00.

I (30M) decided to dye my hair to cover up my greys. My wife (29F) was not crazy about the idea of me dyeing my hair in this first place, and all of a sudden said she likes my increasingly obvious grey hairs.

I definitely got my dad’s genes. His hair started greying in his mid twenties, and by 40 he was perfectly salt and pepper. Now he’s approaching 60 with almost no brown hairs left. He decided to go grey gracefully, I didn’t want to do that.

One night over dinner, I mentioned to her how I’ve been seeing grey hairs since my early twenties, and my method of dealing with them was to pluck them out with tweezers, despite always hearing how that’s counterproductive. Eventually, they were growing in faster than I could pluck them. And more recently, I noticed an alarming amount of half-grey hairs that were in the process of becoming full grey.

Fed up with it on a personal level, I told my wife I want to dye my hair. I told her that I’m not ready to go grey yet, and I’m gonna go buy a hair dyeing kit that matches my hair color, which she adamantly refused to let me do, as if I asked for her permission. She started complimenting my greys and saying that it’s sexy, and that dyeing my hair is pretty feminine and she wouldn’t find it attractive if I did it.

I have very thick, curly, shoulder length hair that I take good care of. I’m proud of my natural hair, but I feel like I should have a say on when I let it turn grey, even though my DNA and wife say otherwise. So I did it. For my first time ever attempting to dye my hair, it turned out great, and I was surprised with how easy the process was. All of my greys are gone, I’m satisfied with the way it looks, and she noticed right away. She acted like I betrayed her in some way. She has had nothing to say about my hair, and it feels as if she looks as my differently now. It’s almost as if she didn’t want me to be confident in my looks. Is she overreacting, or AITA?