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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BumblebeeMaterial682 on 2023-07-10 19:30:04+00:00.
My SIL (43f) and her kid (12f) moved in with us (my husband, myself and our 3 kids) 2 months ago. She’s going through a divorce, he took everything. The kids not his and a prenup was signed. We told her to just worry about her own food, as I didn’t like the idea of eating together due to their history with food. I don’t know how to put it nicely so I guess I will go blunt… her and her kid never stop eating. They both have severe health issues, as both of them combined are over 600lbs and live a very fat-positive life. Now, it’s none of my business but when it comes to the kid, it’s fucked up. I don’t care what anyone says. When a 12yo is pushing 220lbs and has a doctor breathing down your neck, it’s time for a change versus pushing body positivity. The kid is a great girl but just her by herself could easily eat enough to feed 4 grown men who haven’t eaten all day. So that was my stipulation. They buy their own food and cook everything separate. I even cleaned out our entire pantry to give them for their own food space.
Well, my kids and I needed a break and took off for a week to a resort. My husband didn’t want to go (he didn’t want to leave them in our home unattended) but encouraged us to get out of here because we were pretty fed up with company. I had just spent almost $400 on food prior to leaving so our freezer was full and so was our cupboards. This would feed us (me, husband, kids) for easily 2 weeks. Well, I got home last night and ALL of the food is gone. Every single bit of it. I know for a fact it wasn’t my husband. He works 14-16 hour days and usually buys takeout on his way home when I’m not there so he can just go to sleep when he gets back. I look in my SILs pantry and all her food is gone too, which was full when I left. I immediately question it and my SIL apologizes and said her and her kid got hungry and her legs hurt too much to drive to the store. I said “why the fuck didn’t you just get grocery delivery?” And she said “I didn’t think you would mind.” So I snapped and said “obviously I fucking mind. You and your kid just ate well over $800 worth of food in a fucking week; $400 of it being mine, which you will be reimbursing me for. Maybe stop eating so damn much.” And I walk off. Now she’s pissed at me and crying wolf to anyone who will listen for me “fat shaming” her and her kid.
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You’re not the asshole. Sometimes the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. In this case she might trumpet and stampede in a rage, but it’s important that you hold your ground. When she is foraging your hard earn food like a tusken raider and not leaving you even peanuts, it’s time for you grab it by the ears make it go away. Otherwise the whole situation will remain a circus.
