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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Relevant_Injury3052 on 2023-06-24 16:25:18+00:00.

I’m currently being given the cold shoulder by both my youngest daughter and wife over this so I thought I’d get an outside opinion. Both of my two daughters graduated from simimlarly costing universites, I had a school fund set up for both of them but it didn’t cover everything. They both after graduating had about 60k in student loan debt. They also both were lucky to find jobs in their fields a few months after graduating with similar salaries about 55k a year.

However, they took vastly different approaches to their debt, my eldest for the last three years has lived extremely frugally and outside of basic needs and bills all her extra money goes into paying her debt off. My youngest on the other hand asked if she could live at home until she gets her loans paid off, but she still only pays the minimum required to send every month and spends the rest of her money on herself.

Now the issue started a few days ago, my eldest called me all excited because her loan debt was down to $500 and she would be able to finally pay it off when she next gets paid. We spoke for a bit more and after the call ended I decided to surprise her by sending her 1k, to pay off the rest of her debt and so she could finally have some money to do something for her for once. When I was talking to my wife and youngest daughter over dinner about how impressed I was that she paid it off so fast, my youngest started yelling about how I’ve never given her money towards her loans. I explained that while I’m not directly paying them Im still helping her by letting her live at home rent free and she could be closer to paying it off if she spent less on things she doesn’t need. After screaming and crying to me a bit more she stormed off and is staying at her boyfriends currently. My wife thinks that I should promise to give her some money each month to help her pay the loan off faster so we can keep the peace at home but I don’t think I should reward her for nothing.