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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MikkiTh on 2023-06-24 23:23:58+00:00.

It’s really a we since my husband and I agree. A few years ago I inherited a property with a basement apartment. We renovated it and my niece and her siblings have lived in it until this year. The backstory on that is that my SIL abandoned them a few years ago to run off with a trucker. For the last 6 years other than occasional drop ins she’s been leading a life on the road (her words) and anytime it was pointed out that she had two minor children she would insist her oldest child was capable of taking care of her siblings.

While it is true my niece stepped up, we were a huge part of her being able to do so since we only charged nominal rent and everyone sort of chipped in to make sure the kids had their needs met. Now the kids are mostly grown (nephew in college, youngest niece in high school) and they’re just about ready to move out. Their plan is to be in another place closer to my niece’s high school and my nephew’s college next month.

In the interim my FIL has died and my MIL is headed for a long term care facility. My SIL’s trucker boyfriend died suddenly and now she’s “ready to come home” except there’s no home to come to, the house my inlaws owned is being sold to defray the costs of my MIL’s care. My SIL has asked us to rent the basement unit and my husband and I have said no. A. We have plans to use that space for our youngest (a senior in high school) while he’s in college since he plans to stay in town and B. We just don’t want the headache of my SIL. She swears she’s changed but in a call the week before he died she still had the same airy “I’m busy doing things I want to do” attitude and that was about visiting my MIL in the hospital.

Granted we have the space technically since the unit will be empty until next fall, and she swears she’ll be out by then, but neither of us believe her. She’s 52 and has nothing since she was apparently living off what the boyfriend earned all of these years. Except for his brothers, the rest of the family have been a non stop barrage of shaming us for not doing more, but none of them are volunteering to take her in. They seem convinced she’s learned her lesson from his death and the quick discovery that he left her absolutely nothing except damaged relationships with her kids and siblings. AWTA for refusing to even entertain the possibility that she has changed?