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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/spinaticc on 2024-01-25 02:22:00.

Hello, I (24 F) have a completely chaotic dumpster fire for a family. If it isn’t one thing, it’s the next, and as such, I do not visit my family unless forced or on holidays bc they’re invited despite my suggestions. Here more recently, last summer I believe, my Aunt got into a problem with me (the eldest of my siblings) and my eldest younger sister (21) bc my Aunt felt it was her right to bully and abuse my youngest sister through her own children and their phones. Which, okay, that was a thing, but this post isn’t entirely about that. I called CPS bc of some allegations that came my way about the treatment of my Aunt’s child, and bc of that she was trying to figure out who did it and was gossiping with my elder cousin (her adult step-daughter) about who it could be and said, and I’m quoting, “Well… it could’ve been OP, she does have a crush on me.” When my cousin looked flabbergasted at such a ludicrous statement my Aunt’s 9 yo daughter pipped up, “It’s true! She really does!”… wtaf? So not only is my Aunt abusive and less than dirt in my opinion, she’s also completely delusional and is so much so her children know of this particular “belief”.

Now, when I heard this ridiculousness, I didn’t know what to do with it really, like what do you say and do about that??? Blow up at her? Call her an insufferable pig? Dive deeper into when she started believing this, blasting her online etc. And then… malicious compliance came to mind and the Grinch’s grin smeared across my face.

Starting from that day I heard this rumor, any and every time I saw her I flirted, hard. “Omg Auntie, aren’t you the sexiest thing I’ve seen today.” or “My God, Uncle, I wouldn’t let that beaute through your fingers.”, “If you ever want a massage, let me know, I would love to give one to the prettiest girl here.” “Gosh, there is just no way you’re over 50 yo!” “Uncle, you’re a very very lucky man.”, as examples. I whistle as a greeting to her, and I make sure to wink at her at least once per interaction. She doesn’t know my cousin, her step daughter, told me about her accusation.

She looks so uncomfortable every time I approach or even arrive at family gatherings, and I fucking love it. Karma’s a witch, maybe don’t bully and abuse kids and fill your own children with nonsense rumors like your niece, who you’ve known since she was 8 yo, wanting to doodle you. I’m never going to stop, I have a crush on my Aunt, after all.

EDIT: Something I didn’t think I’d have to clear up is: I do not have a crush on my Aunt. Sarcasm is a thing. Not to mention, some have said this just makes me look bad, to who exactly? The woman telling her CHILDREN that her niece wants her? My family? The dumpster fire? Yall ever heard of a rumor so ridiculous that you just go with it? If I raised a huge fuss about it, that would’ve made me also look guilty with that logic! This way, I have the power, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll think twice about ridiculous rumors.

EDIT 2: People worried this will make it worse, idk what to say to you really. It prolly will. But before this issue I had literally never had an issue with her, always cordial, so if she can manifest this kind of BS in her head with no reason at all then me not doing anything wouldn’t have helped either.