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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EcstaticBoat1836 on 2023-07-18 08:59:18.


My husband and I never got a wedding. We waiting three years to finally do a small ceremony, which is coming up in 2 days. We just got back from a trip to a potential state we are going to move to. My husbands dad decided to come along and he did pay for much of it and he got to see his daughter in the state too. I am very thankful for that.

We were planning (for months) a small honeymoon in the nearest city for 4 days and 3 nights. It was clearly spoken that my side of the family (including myself) would pay for x and my husbands side would pay for y (the honeymoon). We never had a honeymoon after we eloped three years ago and so this was greatly anticipated. We had asked and asked to make the reservations but his dad kept saying to do it later. Now they are expensive because it is so close to the date.

Jump to today (TWO days before my wedding) my husbands dad told him that he wasn’t going to pay for the honeymoon bc he paid for the trip. TWO DAYS notice, which for us meant one thing: no honeymoon. I would have been okay with it if he has given us a notice a month ago so that I could have saved up for it. I would have canceled our trip too, potentially. But two days notice was not enough time to plan a honeymoon and fund it by myself (I am a broke college student and waitress, my husband is a nursing student and unemployed)

I cried for hours. Then my husband told me that his dad changed his mind and would give us $1500 for our honeymoon bc he felt guilty. I would like to decline their offer but my husband thinks that’s prideful of me. I would rather use our savings at this point but my husband doesn’t want us to. I am still angry and his parents heard my husband and l’s fight about it from the other room. My husband is on his dads side and has made me feel like a bad person for expressing that I was upset. The fight was heated. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for their help. I just feel whip lashed.

Am I the asshole?